Under the Influence ... the book

I have learned a lot from this book.
Front cover:



Back Cover:

Buy it online at amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/Under-Influence-Guide-Realities-Alcoholism/dp/0553274872

Notes & References:

Forty-two personal stories of recovery from alcoholism can be found in the AA Big Book available online at www.aa.org/bigbookonline/.

The website of Alcoholics Anonymous is www.aa.org

The link to the Big Book of AA is www.aa.org/bigbookonline/

The link to finding AA meetings is www.aa.org/lang/en/meeting_finder.cfm

The above websites are available in English, Español, and Français.

The biochemical insanity of addiction ...

I came to realize over the course of my addiction to alcohol that my brain was subconsciously working against me. I learned in the aftermath of my repeated episodes of drunkenness that I was emotionally compelled to repeat behaviors that would justify my drinking.

If getting angry with someone I cared about and then storming out to find solace at the closest bar brought the warm fuzzy fog of intoxication ... that is exactly what I would look back and find out that I had done.

But even more insidious was the celebration of successes ... so that my productive life became centered on achieving enough to keep drinking alcohol. I isolated from any situation where someone might have the opportunity to intervene ... and in our society where alcohol consumption is glorified, I was hardly noticed ... as I separated myself into my addictive syndrome.

I was like the story I related in an earlier post ... I was the frog in the pan of hot water on the stove, slowly turning up the heat ... so I didn't notice I was being boiled.

Until I understood how I was powerless over the effect of alcohol on my biochemical system — my body and brain — and become committed to not taking the first drink today ... and learning how to do that from the experiences of others ... I would repeat the downward spiral of my addiction cycle until I was in a body bag, in handcuffs, or in a straight-jacket.

I was powerless over the effects of alcohol because my brain had succumbed to the false idea that alcohol is good for me because it made me feel good, and in the moment of inebriation removed all doubt about my ability to whatever it was I wanted to do ... whether I ended up being able to do it or not. It was only after I "reprogrammed" my brain in recovery to let its normal drive for survival — pursuing healthy satisfaction of needs — that I was able to get back to living a normal life. I believe it is that "higher power" of life's struggle for real survival that takes over and gives addicts their lives back.

Notes & References:

Forty-two personal stories of recovery from alcoholism can be found in the AA Big Book available online at www.aa.org/bigbookonline/.

The website of Alcoholics Anonymous is www.aa.org

The link to the Big Book of AA is www.aa.org/bigbookonline/

The link to finding AA meetings is www.aa.org/lang/en/meeting_finder.cfm

The above websites are available in English, Español, and Français.

The revolving door of rehab ...

Let's get something straight ... 30-60-90 days of rehab was NOT a solution for my addiction. I tried it all.

In my early adulthood — to 50 — "sobering up" in a "professional program" sooner or later turned into, "that wasn't so bad" ... or ... "looks like I have learned how to drink responsibly" ... or "I've changed, I'm older, more responsible with more to lose." I won't get drunk, and if I do, I now know what to do.

Finally when I became sick and tired of being sick and tired I was willing to take the cotton out of my ears and put it in my mouth ... and heard from a wonderful, beautiful middle-aged woman, "Gus, if you kill yourself in the first 5 years of recovery, you'll be killing a stranger."

I had to give myself time to recover ... one day at a time for the rest of my life. Each day I learned how to do what I needed to do to not take the first drink that day, and was hearing from others around the tables of AA what others were doing in their lives ... some at the same stage, others at other stages of recovery ... so I could also learn what lay ahead ... and have mentoring contacts — sponsors in AA — to help guide me with their example and experience.

From these mentors — one who is now one of my closest friends — I learned that the only thing I am an expert on is my own recovery, and all I can do is share my experience, strength, and hope in my recovery ... as honestly as I can ... with others who are open to listening.

Notes & References:

Forty-two personal stories of recovery from alcoholism can be found in the AA Big Book available online at www.aa.org/bigbookonline/.

The website of Alcoholics Anonymous is www.aa.org

The link to the Big Book of AA is www.aa.org/bigbookonline/

The link to finding AA meetings is www.aa.org/lang/en/meeting_finder.cfm

The above websites are available in English, Español, and Français.

The holiday season ... for this alcoholic

Once when I had been sober for a couple of years I was offered a drink at a Christmas party.

It immediately flashed in my brain that I had this alcoholism thing licked, and I could handle a drink.

So I took the drink and cautiously sipped on it for an hour or so ... and nothing happened ... then.

I didn't take another drink that evening, and because of that was able to convince myself that I had "learned" how to drink.

Within a few months I was back to periodic bouts of alcoholic insanity.

There is only one "cure" for me ... doing whatever it takes to not take that first drink ... today. The rest is smoke and mirrors ... for this alcoholic.

Notes & References:

Forty-two personal stories of recovery from alcoholism can be found in the AA Big Book available online at www.aa.org/bigbookonline/.

The website of Alcoholics Anonymous is www.aa.org

The link to the Big Book of AA is www.aa.org/bigbookonline/

The link to finding AA meetings is www.aa.org/lang/en/meeting_finder.cfm

The above websites are available in English, Español, and Français.